Harry brewed as he walked down the dark street angrily. Damn his uncle! How was it even his fault that the car had stopped running? Harry hadn’t even gone near it and now he was being punished by not getting dinner?
Deep in his thoughts about asking Hermione for a spell to conjure food tomorrow when they got back to Hogwarts, Harry didn’t see the shadows following him to the park. Some of the streetlights had been knocked out by rocks recently and made the street and park even darker.
Harry pushed the metal gate open and headed for the swings. The park had long since been abandoned by the neighborhood children since Dudley and his gang had returned from Smeltings for the summer. Just as he passed by the large bush nearest the swings he heard a twig break and spun around on pure instinct, reaching for his wand to find it gone. Slightly panicked now, he heard a cruel chuckle from the park gate.
“It’s about time you freak. Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for you to leave the house without that foul thing in your pocket?” It was Dudley, fatter than ever.
“What do you want porky?” Harry asked, knowing he was useless without his wand if it was more than just Dudley.
“Don’t you mean what do we want?” Harry’s throat caught as three shadows stepped out from behind Dudley, and one appeared from the bush a few feet to his right.
Dudley wasn’t the only one to laugh this time. Something in the cruel chuckles sent chills up and down his spine as he tried to back up, but before he could get two feet, the shadow from the bushes was tackling him and trying to force him to the ground. Harry might have bested him in the struggle because he was small like him, but then the other four were on him too, ripping at his clothes and pinning him to the ground, laughing manically.
“It’s time you learned just what kind of freak you are,” came Dudley’s calm voice from above them all. And then Harry was shouting frantically, unable to escape his own private hell.
He woke with a start, screaming and flailing around. How long had he been screaming? How long had he been asleep? Suddenly he needed to escape and ran to the door, pushing it open and bursting through it to find Snape sitting at Hufflepuff table, head in his hands.
Snape looked up at him and Harry found a tortured look on his face to rival his own. For however long Harry had been in there screaming, Snape had had to sit there helplessly listening to it all.
Harry hung his head, hand still on the doorknob. “m’ sorry.”
Severus shook his head. “Do not be. It is not your fault.”
He wanted to argue that it was, but instead he said, “That’s what Hermione said.”
Surveying him curiously, Snape seemed surprised.
“You told her?”
Harry shook his head, still staring at the floor. “Somehow she figured it out when she saw how much I was showering… I dunno, she said something about her cousin that lives in France now.” He shrugged his shoulders, still confused by it, and still ashamed that Hermione knew. She had approached him about it last week, and he had avoided her since then. Here he put his hand over his eyes and slowly rubbed them, trying to fight the urge to sleep.
“It is not your fault,” Snape repeated.
“Yeah!? Well it sure as hell feels like it! I just let it happen!” His angry shouts rang across the hall, but Severus did not flinch or seemed surprised by the outburst.
“Did you, or did you fight it?”
Harry remembered struggling until they were done ruining him, but after they had run off in the dark, he just lay there on his side, numb and wishing he were dead.
Snape looked at the floor in discomfort as Harry thought. Not only was he not qualified to handle this, but he did not want to. This was not something he himself could handle thinking about, although he had never had the experience.
After long, long moments, Severus said, “The sooner we complete the final task, the sooner we can leave here.”
Harry sighed. He had fought within himself so valiantly not to break down while was inside this prison with Snape, because he didn’t want him to know, but now that he did, he found he had nothing to go back to outside. If they left, Snape would tell somebody else, who would tell somebody else, and eventually the likes of Rita Skeeter would get hold of it and run with it… and then Harry really would have no choice but to jump… that is unless they locked him up in a padded cell.
“I don’t like that look on your face Potter,” Snape commented with a hint of his usual sneer.
Harry looked up.
“You know the one Potter… it’s the one that’s telling me you might not want to leave. Well I do, and you need to whether you want to or not.”
Harry frowned. “You’ll tell.”
Severus rubbed his temple. “What happens beyond those doors is not up to me. I will help find whatever help you need, but it is up to you to take it. The only duty I have is to ensure that no students die… on or off school grounds,” he clarified, thinking that maybe Harry had it in his head to just leave before he killed himself.
Something in his voice betrayed him, and Harry picked up on it, although Harry wasn’t sure if the man was lying about if it were really Harry’s choice, or if he really cared more then he was trying not to let on.
“What’s the challenge?” Harry asked, deciding that they couldn’t stay there forever, because eventually Dumbledore would return to see if they’d killed each other.
Severus picked up an envelope that Harry hadn’t noticed sitting on the edge of Hufflepuff table before.
“It says, ‘Endeavor to shake the other’s hand,’ whatever that is supposed to mean.” He rolled his eyes, knowing that the old man thought a simple handshake could make their hatred disappear.
Harry frowned yet again. “That’s it?” Severus nodded.
Hm. Harry definitely didn’t want to be touched, or touch anybody else, but it was only a handshake, and it would get them out of there, and Harry was starting to feel desperate for a shower again… it had been two days without one now.
Finally he nodded, and stepped down off the platform at the front of the Hall, but as soon as he had, the floor sprung up into walls and Harry was knocked off his feet.
From his back Harry heard an angry curse from somewhere on the other side of the hall.
“What happened?” Harry asked, rubbing the back of his head where it had knocked the platform.
He heard another curse, although he couldn’t make this one out, and then, “Climb to higher ground if you can.”
Harry got to his feet and stepped atop the platform again, and then on top of the staff table. He still couldn’t see above the walls, so he got down, heaved a heavy staff chair atop the table, and then climbed back up and on top of that. Finally he saw the reason for the cursing. The Great Hall had turned into a maze with 9 foot tall solid walls.
“Can you blast them down?” Harry asked?
Severus shook his head. “I cannot, and I do not think we will make it through on our own.” He looked around and found a pillar that stood alone behind him. Harry was amazed with the ease that his Potion’s Master climbed the pillar, which had very few hand or foot holds. Finally he was atop it and could see Harry. He surveyed the maze, and said, “There is only one way to the door. There is a pillar in the center of the maze… one of us must guide the other to it, and then trade places.”
Harry didn’t like the sound of that. The last maze he’d been in had ended up with him grabbing a portkey and ending up in the hands of Voldemort.
“You first Potter.”
Harry shook his head. “No, you first.”
While they were a great distance apart, Harry still heard the other man sigh. “There is a pillar nearest me for a reason. It is high up and I can see the entire maze, which you cannot from your position. When you get to the middle, you can guide me to the center by standing on the pillar there.”
He bit his lip. He didn’t want to trust the man, but he didn’t have much choice, and he had already kept one promise by locking Harry into the room and not coming in after…
With a nod he jumped down off the chair and table and went around the edge of the maze looking for an entrance.
“It’s another ten feet ahead,” Snape told him lazily after Harry had nearly made the other end of the hall with the tall windows that looked out over the front of the grounds.
Harry had just made it to an opening in the wall when he heard a growl. He froze, senses alert for whatever had made the sound.
“What is that?” He asked. He couldn’t hide the small amount of panic from creeping into his voice.
Severus scanned the maze, but could see nothing on account of the high walls.
“I cannot see anything. Whatever it is is low to the ground. Be careful.”
Cautiously Harry took another step, and when he did, a crazed looking boar stepped out from the entrance, sniffing the ground. It’s tail was on fire, although it didn’t seem to notice, and it had four spiky horns sticking out from the top of it’s head. Quite possibly it was one of the more intimidating creatures Harry had encountered, second to the Dragon he faced in his fourth year.
“Uh… Professor…. What do I do?” His voice was shaking, and he tried to make it stop, but couldn’t. He already felt so drained emotionally and weak from lack of food and sleep that it was possible for anything to make him lose it now.
The boar looked up with a loud snort at Harry’s words and began scratching the ground with it’s front paw, clearly getting ready to charge.
“Professor?”
“I can’t see anything Potter, describe it to me.” Harry didn’t have time though as the crazed boar charged and he took off running. Snape could only see from Harry’s waist up as he sprinted off.
“What is it?” Snape said more urgently.
“It’s tail is on fire!” Harry shouted, “And it has four horns!”
Harry was quickly running out of room to run as he was approaching a wall. Somehow the staff table and platform had disappeared and he had nowhere to run. Thinking fast, Harry stopped dead, changed directions, and leapt over the boar as it ran under him. The boar was fast though and was right on his heels again. Somehow Harry didn’t think he’d be able to lose him in the maze, and would probably end up getting eaten when he hit an unexpected dead end inside.
“Stop running!” he heard Snape call.
Harry threw his hands up in the air as he ran. “Are you kidding me!?” he shouted, wondering if his professor had finally lost his mind as well.
“It’s a fire boar. Stop running and lay down! You must trust me!”
He was crazy, that was all there was to it. Harry closed his eyes as he prepared himself to be eaten, and then suddenly he had dropped to the floor and played dead as if it were a bear on one of those Muggle shows he had seen once when he was small. The next thing he knew the boar was on top of him, licking his face just as fang might have done.
“Ugh, ugh, get off of me, yuck.”
He tried to push the kissing fire boar off of him, and finally the monstrous thing budged, climbing down with a snort. His face and part of his hair was covered in boar saliva, which was similar in texture to the bat bogeys Ginny had once cast on him for trying to give her a pat on the butt.
“Still alive I presume?” Snape asked, arms crossed as he stood atop the pillar. He saw Harry’s torso and head appear and nod.
“Yeah, sort of.”
“Good. Then enter the maze and take a left, and then an immediate right.”
Harry did as he was told. After two more rights, a sharp left, and then straight down a particularly narrow passage, Harry found himself standing at a solid wall with a table in front of it, with three potions sitting on top.
“What now? There’s a solid wall and three potions.”
“Beyond that wall is the center of the maze. There is no other way to the center that I can see. One of the potions will allow you to walk through the wall. Describe them to me.”
Harry frowned. “They’re all black. Wait a minute… there’s a note.” He unfolded the note and crinkled his face when he read it. “It says all three of them will kill me.”
Snape sighed. “What do they smell like?”
Harry smelled all three of them in turn. “They all smell the same… like moss.”
“Read the note to me word for word.”
“All three of them will kill you.”
“How big are the phials?”
Having no way to measure each one, Harry guessed and said, “A swallow each?”
“Drink two of them, and then walk through the wall.”
“What? Are you crazy? It said they’d all kill me!”
“Must I explain everything to you Potter?” Snape spat. “Who is the Potion Master in this maze?”
Something about the way he’d phrased it made Harry want to giggle, and he imagined the man with his hands on his hips for some reason.
Thinking that the man did indeed know his potions, Harry drank two of the containers in two quick swallows and walked straight at the wall. He was happy to find himself melt right through it, and make it to the other side, clearly not dead.
Finally Harry was able to look up and spy Snape atop the pillar, because the center of the maze was large enough that no tall walls obscured his view. Snape motioned for him to climb the pillar in the center, and Harry did so, having a harder time than Snape had, and wondering how he had done it.
When he made the top, he looked around and found that Snape had climbed down to the floor. Harry could see the top half of him, and suddenly thought this might be amusing since he was now the one in charge. At the thought of that he suddenly felt that he very much liked the thought of being in control… that was something he hadn’t felt in so long.
“Well?” Snape asked.
“Go in,” Harry said. He scanned the maze as Snape entered, and saw a clear path leading towards the center. “Right three times and then left, then three more rights.”
The look on Snape’s face was dubious to say the least, but he did as he was told, clearly wanting to exit the Great Hall enough to trust Harry… at least his life wasn’t at risk yet as Harry’s had been.
“And now?” His hands were on his hips. Harry was about to tell him to go straight through the doorframe ahead when they heard a crisp “whizzz.”
Severus didn’t have to ask Harry what it was. He had seen something fly very fast in front of the door straight ahead.
“Am I to assume that I must cross through that door?”
“Yes. Can you see what flew by?”
“No.” He took another step forward, and was able to see brief glimpses of three arrows, two from the left, one from the right, as they flew a foot in front of his face. The closer he got to the door, the more arrows began to fly, until he was standing right in the door frame, and the arrows flew sporadically. He growled faintly.
“Any bright ideas?”
Harry wasn’t listening. Instead he was counting arrows and getting a feel for the pace and pattern. Somehow this felt like Quidditch… there was a pace and pattern to flying through Bludgers, players, and Quaffles, and still trying to find a Snitch in the middle of it.
“Well?”
“Shh!” Harry had not meant to be harsh about it, but he needed to concentrate.
Snape crossed his arms and waited.
“Go when I say, and duck when I say duck.”
Harry heard him growl again.
“Ready…” He closed his eyes and listened for the sound and pace of the arrows. “Go!” he half screamed. He watched as Snape darted into the room and arrows narrowly missed his back and head. “Duck!” Snape hit the floor with amazing speed, and Harry could only imagine how his heart must be pounding. “Crawl now! Fast!”
Snape crawled on his stomach the rest of the way to the other side of the room, and narrowly missed getting an arrow in the arse. He lay panting in the hallway on the other side.
“Still alive?” Harry asked. He couldn’t see him anymore because he was obscured by a wall.
“Barely.” Snape stood again after a few moments. “I’d better get a raise for this.”
Harry crossed his arms. “What do I get?”
“Out of your next three detentions free.”
Harry nodded, satisfied. And suddenly, although he wasn’t sure why, he wanted to live to get out of those next three detentions, although how long after that, he didn’t know just yet.
“Continue,” Snape told him, ready to move on. Harry scanned the maze again and saw the path to the center where he stood. From there it was just a matter of the two of them shaking hands he supposed.
“Two lefts, then through the door in the center, then a right, then down the hall to me.”
Snape followed his directions perfectly, and was just about to take a right and enter the long hall that lead to Harry when he stopped and said, “Potter!” There was a small hint of panic there that Harry had never heard before. He looked for the source of trouble, and found the walls of the maze on Snape’s half slowly closing in on him.
“Run!” Harry shouted! Snape ran, but there was no way he would make it down the long hall in time. Thinking fast Harry leapt from his tall pillar to a foot wide wall and ran along it’s edge, trying not to fall off. He leapt from one wall to another to another until he was on top of a closing wall above Severus.
He knelt down as best he could and reached his hand down, but it was no use, the walls were too tall for Snape to grasp it.
“I can’t reach!” Harry shouted, panicked, even though Snape was right there.
Snape leapt up, but still could not reach.
Hoping that they could take the challenge literally, because he did not want to be squished to death by stone walls, Harry leapt down into the now very narrow hall next to Snape, surprising the other man greatly, and grasped his hand tightly in a shake. To their great relief, the walls stopped closing in on them, and vanished slowly into dust before falling to the ground and disappearing altogether.
Harry and Snape watched the walls go, hands still together in a shake. Harry looked back and grinned.
“We did it!” He said proudly. Sincerely, this was much harder than the tri-wizard tournament had been, he thought. This whole ordeal had been worse, almost to the point where he would rather see Cedric die again than be stuck there having nightmares about… about… well, about things that he couldn’t help.
Severus watched the boy curiously as they let go of each other’s hands.
“You saved me. You might have died.”
Harry had stopped grinning for a moment, but he started again as he realized just how much he did not want to be squished to death. “I didn’t want to be squished!” he said happily.
To any other person this might seem an insignificant statement… nobody wanted to be squished after all, but Snape seemed to understand the importance of Harry’s wish not to die, and nodded.
“Am I to understand that I will not be seeing any more essays with drawings on them?”
Harry looked at the ground and shrugged, his smile fading. “I don’t know… not right now anyhow.”
“We will start there then.” Harry looked up. We?
“What do you mean?”
“Not wanting to die in the short term is a start to not wanting to die in the long term.”
He bit his lip. True, he supposed, but how did he know anyway? And why did he say we? He wasn’t going to be involved in anything was he? He said it was Harry’s choice what happened outside the room.
“You said I didn’t have to do anything,” Harry suddenly felt the need to blurt out.
“You need help,” Snape held up a hand helplessly, feeling awkward not knowing how to deal with the situation, and knowing he had lied slightly.
“You lied!?” Harry shouted in anger. He was going to tell people! He was going to force him into a loony bin? What? He was going to force him to deal with things?
Before he knew what he was doing, Harry bolted for the door, which was hopefully unlocked. His heart was pounding to the beat of betrayal. Why had he trusted the git? Why!?
He had almost made it to the door, but somebody had grabbed him from behind now and forced him to stop. Harry struggled hard, trying to keep his mind here and not let it float back to struggling on that one dark night…
“Potter…. Harry!” Severus spun him around to face him and shook him by the shoulders as Harry kept his eyes clenched shut and struggled to get free of his grasp.
“Harry!” he shouted again. “You trusted me with your life twice today… trust me with it one more time.”
“Arrg! No! You lied!” He hit Snape on the chest and wondered that the other man had such a good grip on him and that he could not get away.
“If I lied then it is because I care. I do not wish to see you continue to suffer.”
“Then let me go!”
“Why!? So you can jump?” Severus was angry at the thought that he had saved him just for Harry to end it all.
Harry’s heart caught in his chest and he began to struggle less as he thought about it. He didn’t realize tears were making their way down his cheeks. Only a few moments ago he had been proud to say he wanted to live, and now it seemed like it was all over again if he didn’t even have control over what his future was from here… he couldn’t trust anybody to lay his future out for him. Could he? Hadn’t he trusted his future to Snape twice in the maze, as he’d said? And hadn’t he pulled through? Even when he thought he was going to get eaten or be poisoned? As he thought about it he struggled less, until he was just standing there crying, pounding on Snape’s chest one final time.
“I hate you.”
“Good,” Snape told him firmly. “Hate me. But do not hate yourself.”
Harry fell forward, and Snape was surprised to find the boy leaning on him. What did he do now? It was so awkward having the boy he hated just a day ago there crying on him… but he did care what happened to him. Awkwardly he put his arms around the boy, and Harry sobbed hard.
“Things will turn out fine in the end Potter… just wait and see.”
THE END
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A/N: Again, this was SO hard for me to write. I just thought, how do you even get inside the head of somebody who this has happened to? Mostly what Snape was feeling… the awkwardness and helplessness of not knowing how to handle it is how I think I would feel in a similar situation, and is how I’ve felt at other times when having to deal with people in crisis. As far as getting into Harry’s head, all I had to go on is what we learned in Psychology about what these people go through, as well as the experiences of two close friends.
I hope I brought sufficient resolution to the story for you. It is meant to be a little bit of a cliffhanger because I don’t want to take this story into Harry’s recovery, just to the start of it, which is where I’ve left it. I’ll leave it to your imagination of where it goes from here.
Well, until we meet again in the next story,
-JW.
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